So I work at a photo lab and an elderly woman came up to pay and after each transaction I have, I ask: “can I help you find anything else today?” She responded with, “A million bucks.” The elderly man behind her said, “Ma’am, if you want a million bucks, just look in the mirror.” Her jaw dropped and she was completely smitten.
This man is at least 80 years old and his pussy game is immortal.
imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom
"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"